Horn girls chating

Take a former student of mine, Naoko, who worked as a programmer. “I just wore the same clothes, but on Sunday I’d go home for half a day, to shower. Sometimes I’ll ask my adult students how often they see their spouses, or ask the kids when they see their fathers.

People in Japan, and Tokyo in particular, work a ridiculous amount, in a way that’s hard to comprehend if you live in, say, sunny California. Japanese places are a lot worse.” “Do you ever see your wife? That way, the man goes off to work, and when he comes home after midnight, his dinner is sitting on the table covered in Saran Wrap, and there’s hot water in the tub. Shopping, ironing, cleaning, paying the bills, everything’s taken care of for him. The woman gets to do all the fun, fulfilling things like taking care of baby, grocery shopping, cleaning, and cooking meals.

For a woman, it means a life of indentured servitude. The reality is: people don’t have a lot of contact with each other.

A lot of people are apparently “just saying no” to the whole thing. For Japanese folks, it’s insanely difficult to establish friendships and connections, which is no doubt why so many Host and Hostess Bars exist, so people can at least to talk to them.

Marriage isn’t a great choice; it’s just the second-worst option.

For a man, it means he’s working to pay for his wife. If you chose “Absolutely freaking nothing,” then congratulations, you’re about halfway to earning a Bachelor’s in East Asian Studies.

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